(GHW) The Chmosen (GHW)
Posted by Dorg , 198.211.223.107 on August 30, 1999 at 19:47:07:

(Masmodean, Mishamael, Mlanfear, Moghedmion, Mrahvin, and the other Forsaken from the Wheel of Time series that I can't remember the names of Stmill the Black Majah, Fronette, and Fron. No more LPD's Ta-Da! Oh, they Stmill the Knights of Ni too so they can't unstill anyone or anythin'. Wiat, no, they don't Stmill Fron. But Fron goes mad from the taint on Smaidin, the male half of the True Ni Source.)

*FIN*

(Story) Next Door To Hell (GHW)
Posted by Frog , 205.188.200.53 on August 30, 1999 at 19:49:15:

This story is basically to develop some of my ideas a little more. Hope it's cool.

Next Door To Hell

A small computer shop on a quiet Irvine street exploded in sparks and flames. The door crashed open and monsters ran out. A window on the top floor of a tall building shattered and winged minions of hell soared out. Sewer lids popped up and down and large amounts of steam billowed out, as if some massive creature was huffing and puffing. Police were at a home trying to figure out why a boy was torn apart while surfing the net. It was as if not all hell, but a good amount of it, had broken lose.
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~

Namrok sat in a side room in OEEP HeadQuarters surrounded by mystical books and weathered scrolls. He had finally gotten the skull he was looking for but putting it to good use wasn't a piece of cake. He sat back and rubbed his chin deep in thought. A yell broke him out of his trance. Then there was a loud crash followed by more yells. 'They must be playing monopoly again,' Namrok thought and went back to work. It was hard trying to ignore the screams.

DarkAngel ran down a hallway and skidded to a stop, then turned left. "Dammit Revanant! Contact Aurus NOW!!" Revanant sat at a lap top busily typing away.

"I'm trying, it's hard with our lack of power here." He glanced up at DarkAngel but he had already rushed away. DarkAngel met up with Frog who was trying to hold off two demons with his sword. In an instant DarkAngel had his scythe out and was backing up his comrade. They saw Seeker run further down screaming about giant bats tearing through the roof.

Frog cut off the left foot of a demon and sent it to the ground and together he and DarkAngel were able to dispose of the other beast. DarkAngel made sure both were dead by decapitating them and the two OEEPers moved on.

The demons had taken the Wendy's by surprise and no one was really ready. Revanant was trying to get Aurus as the Flenser back to help while everyone else was doing the best they could.

"Take that you son of a-" The loud gun cut off the rest of Seeker's sentence as he started blasting one of the winged demons flying outside. He didn't notice the other demon fly down but he did notice when it knocked the gun from his hands and sent him sailing across the parking lot. He hit a handicap parking sign and lay there motionless. Some more OEEPers exited to the parking lot to continue their defense against hell.

DarkAngel had stopped flinging fire a while ago when he had learned that the demons were impervious to it. Krusader was busying himself by spraying lemon acid which basically ate through any kind of flesh. A large demon-dog avoided a splash of the yellow liquid and toppled Krusader. Frog lunged and tackled it off Krusader's chest. Krusader just lay there gasping with his eyes closed.

A wall exploded and another demon-dog ran out of the building and took a bite out of DarkAngel's cloak. It crouched down for a pounce and then leaped up just as a silver tendril swung at it. The Flenser ripped open the belly of the jumping demon and guts splattered all over. The Flenser uncovered the guns on its shoulders and started firing. Meanwhile two long blades, formed from the metallic liquid surrounding the metal frame of the Flenser, were ripping into demons as well.

With the help of the Flenser OEEP was able to take care of the attackers. Once the spontaneous battle was over they just stood their with their chests heaving. Water gushed out of a broken pipe where the demon had made a large hole in the wall. Smoke twirled up from the gash made in the ceiling.

"And this was only a handful of those guys." DarkAngel muttered as his scythe disappeared. Let's start on getting this place restored a little bit and Revanant, we need the power back!

"Actually I think that can be managed.." Revanant replied.

"Really?"

"I'll need to sneak into the power plant that supplies our power but after that its just the flip of a few switches. I already fixed the wiring to the Wendy's."

"Good man Rev, take who you need and finish the job."

"Yes sir!"

DarkAngel turned to the Flenser. "Aurus, maybe it would be better if you hung around here for a little instead of patrolling the streets for a while. The Flenser nodded it's head. "This is going from bad to worse but no one or thing will get the better of OEEP!"

~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~

Jake revved up his motorcycle and waited for the green light. He looked to the old women stopped next to him and grinned. She gave a frightened smile at Jake and quickly turned back to the road. The light turned green and she was left in the dust of the motorcycle. She shook her head and moved her trembling foot to the gas. Before she got there a terrible sound of twisting metal burst out as the roof of her car was torn off. A demon popped in and landed on the passenger seat and gave a horrible snarl.

It raised its claws to her and moved forward as a chain swung around it's neck. Jake, just outside the window, pulled his arm back and dragged the demon out. He revved his motorcycle again and started dragging the demon down the road at forty miles an hour. Finally Jake hit the brakes and let go of the demon which rolled a few times and then lay motionless.

Jake parked at the side of the road and walked up to the body, kicking it a few times. This was what he had been warned about it seemed. These 'demons,' that's what they called it, weren't the most menacing thing he had to face but there was one difference. When fighting one of these he wouldn't get the rush. No extra push to aid him in his struggle. That was what made these one of the most feared enemies of the Slayers here in Irvine.

Two more bikers pulled up next to him and pointed down the road. More red bodies larger than a dog but smaller than a horse were leaping down the road chasing people and vandalizing anything they laid their paws on. They were also heading straight for the three Slayers and moving fast.

Jake reached back and pulled out a shot gun. He took aim, fired and missed his target but the windshield of a parked car exploded. "Oops," he said in the wail of the car alarm.

"Lets meet these suckers going at least thirty!" Gunther, another Slayer, roared and they all hit the road. Jake tried another shot with one hand and he thought he hit a demon since it slowed down. Not being able to reload with one hand he used the shotgun as a club. When they met the two faster demons he whacked one under the jaw as it tried to bite him and sent the demon sailing into the car with the missing windshield.

Jake and Gunther jumped off their bikes to face whatever was left and they saw the third Slayer on his back fending off a demon with his iron tipped boots. He got a good kick off and the demon recoiled. Jake motioned Gunther to go help and he turned to the last demon who had finally caught up. It was bleeding on one shoulder but didn't look like it would drop dead any time soon.

Jake punched it in the face as it hurdled forward but its outstretched claws caught him on the chest and blood poured out his leather vest. The demon went to pounce but then twisted it's head and bit Jake in the leg. As he fell back he thought how the demon would finish him off. Then there was a loud roar and a sickening squish as Gunther road over the demon on his bike. "Ugg how do you get blood out of leather and intestine off a boot?" Jake complained as the three rednecks began cleaning up the mess on the road. All they had for the cars that honked and had to swerve away from the three was one middle finger each.
~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~

The shopping cart squealed on it's two right wheels as Frog hit the turn sharp. Krusader yelled and Revanant covered his eyes in fear. The cart tipped back down on all four wheels with a thud and they kept on moving.

"You know Frog," Revanant started. "Wouldn't it just be easier to get a car?"

"But for that I would need a license."

"You don't have a license?!" Krusader yelled. Revanant and Krusader cowered in fear the rest of the way. It was a long trip to the power plant. Frog pulled up his shopping cart a block away from the large power plant and they all got out.

"My knees won't stop shaking!" Revanant exclaimed.

"I'm still trying to find me knees, I think they're with my stomach somewhere back in Irvine." Krusader said.

"Oh hush, let's go in already. I feel ridiculous in this ninja suit." Frog complained.

"But we always wear the ninja suit on covert operations, it's tradition. Now follow me!" Revanant lead the way to the plant.
~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~

Seeker was on the roof of Wendy's with an assortment of different weapons standing guard. He looked out in the sunset as all of Irvine's lights went shut off. He turned around and yelled, "I think they got into the power plant!" All the lights went back on a few minutes later including OEEP's power.
~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~

A Golem charged down the road in the pale moonlight. It swung out an arm catching to demons and knocking them back. Another demon jumped on the Golem's shoulder and started gnawing at it's neck. Two new demons, drooling and growling, attacked the Golem at the legs. The first two demons got to their feet and the Golem stamped the brains out of one of them. The other one swiped at the Golem's chest and left a deep gash.
The demon on the Golem's back created a few more cuts and cracks. The Golem couldn't heal and close the cuts fast enough. It crushed two more demons but more just ran out. Soon only rocks and rubble littered the street but the demons still pawed around and chewed the stones.

Gaval looked on from a rooftop, unable to help. He shook his head and wondered what the hell they were going to do with all the demons. They started to sniff around and one of them looked up to where Gaval was. He sprung back in surprise and disappeared into the night.

(GHW)Preparing the Wrath of the Horde(STORY) In which Phasmus does somthing unpleasant to the evil people, and then takes a trip
Posted by Phasmus(VILE), 209.206.176.70 on August 30, 1999 at 23:28:19:

Early Morning, the Catacombs...

Phasmus stands in the middle of his interrogation room. A thick, acrid smoke still fills the air from the fire started by Fronette. It had rushed through the catacombs in a matter of moments, consuming everything in it's wake. Most of his minions had survived, but it would be months before the catacombs were again as he wished them to be. His first priority was to air out his lair, and cause great woe to his opponents in the process. He stands and waits. A few minutes pass, and then one of his minions, badly scorched by the blaze, lurches into the room. He is followed by Crystal, who is wearing a gas mask to avoid the toxic fumes.

Phasmus: Good morning Crystal. Sorry to get you up so early, but I need your help.

Crystal yawns. Her voice is muffled by the mask: What do you want me to do Mr. Tape person?

Phasmus: I need all this nasty smoke blown out of my catacombs. All you need to do is create a strong wind in that direction. -he points toward the main hall- If you do this for me, you get Skittles, and plenty of them.

Crystal: Okay, sir. I get rid of the smoke! KAZORP!

-Phasmus watches in horror as his catacombs slowly fill with ginger ale-

Crystal: I fix! GUMRUNK!

-the ginger ale slowly recedes, leaving Phasmus even stickier then normal. The smoke is still wafting around the catacombs-

Phasmus: One more try, okay?

Crystal: ABBA-CADABA!

-Phasmus sticks himself to a wall, and grabs Crystal, as a tremendous gust of wind rushes through the ancient chambers, blowing all the toxic vapors, not to mention every item that was not securely taped down, out of sight. As quickly as it started, the wind stops, leaving the Catacombs as clean as a whistle-

Crystal: But Mr. Tape thing, sir, where will the smoke go now?

Phasmus: Heh heh heh... Let's just say that I had taken that into consideration before I called you down here...

---

OEEP HQ...

Frog: Hey guys, do you smell something?

-no answer-

Frog: I'm getting dizzy...

He hops into the next room, and sees all the other OEEPers sprawled out on the floor. A thick gray smoke is pouring out of several large cracks in the ground. He turns to around to run upstairs, but the smoke envelops him before he can escape. He begins to cough spasmodically, clutches his throat, and falls to the ground, unconscious...

---

Crystal: Why are you laughing like that? You're scaring me!

Phasmus: BWA HA HA HA ha herm... Oh, sorry. Just thinking about how the EVIL SCUM ARE SUFFERING FOR OPPOSING THE HORDE!!!

-Crystal slowly backs toward the stairway to the surface-

Phasmus: Oh, wait. Your skittles.

-Crystal stops creeping away and smiles-

Phasmus: Here ya go!

-He raises his hands to the ceiling, and with the typical ripping sound of duct tape, an economy size bag of Skittles falls out of the lofty darkness to the floor-

Crystal: Yay!!!

Phasmus: Just don't eat the gray ones...

Crystal: Okay, Mr. nice tape person.

Phasmus: Thanks again for your help!

-Crystal skips out of the Catacombs in an absurdly happy and cute manner, passing Gaval on the way down. He too is wearing a gas mask.-

Phasmus: You won't be needing that. Crystal just cleared the air for me.

Gaval, as he removes the mask: Good, good. Glad to see the fire left at least a few of you intact. -he quickly sniffs the air- Hey, do you smell ginger ale?

Phasmus: -grumble- Gaval, I really am sort of busy now, what was it you wanted?

Gaval: Well, some of the other slayers aren't exactly comfortable working around your minions. They know you've been reclassified and that you're on our side and all, but some of them almost start to rush when your mummies come around.

Phasmus: I've noticed... -he points to the back of the room where several mummies are propped against the wall, nursing stake wounds- So, what do they want done?

Gaval: Well, the truth is, most of them don't want to have much to do with you. If you could just tell your, uh, things to lay low when the other slayers are around...

Phasmus: The horde lays low for no one! If they have a problem with my horde, then they have a problem with me. I thought I had made my position in this war perfectly clear. I'm in it for the MONEY which the ASG represents for my company. If I decide that it is more profitable to join the forces of evil then to work with the forces of good, and help keep you and your friends alive, then I will work with the evil ones.

-Gaval's eyes just barely begin to sparkle with cobalt blue, and he has to restrain himself from reaching for a stake.-

Gaval: I don't... Take the threat of treachery... Lightly...

Phasmus: I'm not threatening. I'm warning you. If siding with the ASG becomes more trouble then it's worth, I will turncoat without a second thought. Fortunately, -he glances at Gaval's hand as it slowly moves toward a stake- for both of us, there is little chance of that happening. The ASG represents a huge, constant and reliable source of competition elimination for me.

Gaval: You do realize, that if I were to mention this conversation to the other slayers they would not be at all happy...

Phasmus: On the contrary, I realize that if you were to explain my angle to the slayers in detail, they would come down here and attempt to kill me. That would, of course, be bad for both of us, which is why you won't mention it. Also, because you will be rather busy.

Gaval: Busy?

Phasmus: Before I had Crystal blow the smoke out of my catacombs, I took the liberty of sealing off most of it's possible exit vents. All but one actually.

Gaval: Where did the smoke go, Phasmus?

Phasmus: OEEP HQ. Unfortunately, a great deal of it settled before the air flow direction project was complete, so it is not likely to be fatal. I suspect the toxic fumes were still potent enough to deal quite a harsh blow. If you attack within the next hour or so, they should be utterly defenseless. I'd be happy to send a few of my own minions along to help, if they were welcome...

Gaval hesitates for a few moments: Glad to have them along.

Phasmus: Excellent. -he points at a few of his mummies lurking in the background- My minions, follow the slayer. GO FORTH AND DESTROY THE EVIL SCUM!!!

Gaval quickly climbs back to the surface to alert the other slayers to their golden opportunity. He is followed by about 25 mummies. Phasmus turns away, still chuckling at the thought of OEEP's misfortune, and swiftly makes his way to his private crypt, deep beneath Irvine's surface. Once there, he sits and closes his eyes.

Inside Phasmus's artificial undead brain...

(--- = Phasmus, >>> = Secondary Protocol)

--- Let's see here, inter-planar subroutine communication protocol... There! Got it! Secondary, can you hear me?

>>> PRIMARY PROTOCOL DETECTED. TRANSMISSION STATUS IS OPTIMAL.

-- Good good, how is everything going in the land of the dead?

>>> STATUS REPORT: SECONDARY PROTOCOL FILE RECOVERY IS AT 100%. PRIMARY PROTOCOL FILE RECOVERY IS AT 98%. SUB-UNIT CONTROL, HARDWARE DEVICE CONTROL, AND MISCELLANEOUS FILE RECOVERY IS AT 60%. PHYSICAL STATUS IS OPTIMAL. ENVIRONMENTAL CONDITIONS IN SUB-PLANE .01 (LIMBO) ARE OPTIMAL.

(For those of you that missed it, a large chunk of Phasmus's data was sent to limbo when the rest of him was sent to Canada by Fuji)

--- YOU'VE HAD ALMOST A WEEK TO SEARCH!!! Secondary, how come you don't have more of my sub-unit control files recovered? You have no idea how hard it is to control an undead horde without the right software...

>>> ALL FILES RECOVERED THUS FAR HAVE BEEN LOCATED WITHIN 5 MILES OF ARRIVAL POINT.

--- Five miles? That's a wide dispersion radius... We might never find the remaining data!

>>> ALL REMAINING FILES HAVE BEEN DETECTED.

--- Then, prey tell, WHY DON'T YOU GO GET THEM???!!!

>>> ACCESS IS DENIED.

--- Access is denied? What do you mean access is denied?

>>> ACCESS IS DENIED

--- Listen secondary, you are a major part of what is possibly the most advance artificial intelligence in the entire galaxy. Until I am fully restored I can not enact my plot against the evil ones. Can't you find some way past whatever is denying you access?

>>> ACCESS IS DENIED

--- Okay, get your mindless bytes back to earth, now, and don't forget the data you've already recovered. I'm going to limbo myself and finishing the job.

A blinding flash of light comes from inside Phasmus's crypt as the secondary protocol warps back to his body from limbo. The door creaks open and Phasmus quickly runs off to take care of a few last minute things...

A short while later, Phasmus's primary meeting room...

Phasmus is sitting behind a huge stone desk. Paradox, Nathen, Master Tuff, and several high level mummies are standing in front of him.

Master Tuff, sniffing the air: Does anyone else smell ginger ale?

Phasmus: -grumble- I am going away for a while. In my absence, my secondary protocol will take over. He is not charismatic, nor is he particularly bright, but he has detailed instructions on how to operate VILE in my absence. My other mummies will take care of high level administrative duties. I don't wish for ANY major VILE plots to be carried out during my absence. The three of you will really be the only ones in charge. Paradox, you are still my primary military director. Now I want you to go oversee the attack on OEEP HQ, but after that you'll be relying on WUSS and the ASG for information on who to attack when and where. Master Tuff, you are in charge of Catacomb Security. Destroy anything even remotely evil that comes down here. Understand?

Paradox raises his sword above his head: FOR THE HOMEWORLD!!!

Master Tuff raises his waffle above his head: FOR PIE!!!

Phasmus: Right...

Nathen: What about me?

Phasmus: Ah yes. Your job is extremely important. You are to guard the artifacts you brought to me from Egypt. If anything happens to them, I will hold you directly responsible. Do not attempt to use them for any purpose. I have them secured in the oldest part of the catacombs and guarded by 100 of my best minions. You have permission to do whatever it takes to protect them.

-Nathen nods gravely-

Phasmus if anyone needs to contact me, just ask Secondary. I must be off now.

-there is a blinding flash of green light as Phasmus's essence is transported to limbo. When the light fades, he is still standing there, but it doesn't seem like him. It's more like a shell of Phasmus. The secondary protocol, now in control of the body, looks around slowly-

Secondary: COMMAND UNITS DETECTED. AWAITING INSTRUCTIONS.

Here's what happened:

Phasmus has cleaned up all the fire damage from Fronette's escape.
Pretty much every breathing member of OEEP has been knocked out by the toxic duct tape smoke.
The slayers, and several mummies, are on their way to OEEP HQ to take advantage of the OEEPer's condition.
Phasmus has gone to limbo to retrieve some lost data.
He has left his secondary protocol in charge of his body, and the three living members of VILE in charge or pretty much everything else.

Slaying the Slayers (GHW)
Posted by Abadon , 206.253.50.175 on August 31, 1999 at 19:10:47:

Slaying the slayers

Sephroth cried out in mental anguish, damning the slayers. The slayers… and Gaval. He damned them all to an eternity amongst the blackest depths of hell. No sooner had he resumed his ascension than yet again the slayer… THAT slayer… had arrived to hinder his plans. But it was of no matter. No, for time meant nothing to him. Centuries born… centuries expired… eon upon eon ad infinitum, he would take it in stride. Even so, time meant something to his opponents, and they were using it to their advantage. A drastic time, therefore, required drastic measures.

{Vatican City, Italy}

It was a cold night in the small country of the Vatican, center of Catholicism and headquarters of the Anonymous Slayers Guild. There the holiest figure of all, Pope John Paul the second, laid half-asleep in his bed, silky covers pulled tightly against his aging flesh. Outside he could hear the light snoring of his acting guardsman, and he sighed. Leader of one of the most powerful religions in the world, and he couldn't get a guard who would either stay awake or sleep silently. A shiver ran down his spine as a wave of coldness spread across his frail body. He sat up and immediately looked around, the room was pitch black, or perhaps even more so then usual. His holiness clapped his hands twice in rapid succession to turn on the lights, but as his old shriveled hands collided, not even the faintest whisper passed beyond. His jaw dropped and he tried again but to no effect. Slowly the shadows parted and a figure emerged, his features in a haze as if seen through smoke. It looked like a man draped in a black robe. The Pope tried to scream but no words came out. The ghastly wraith before him slowly lifted its head to reveal a pair of gleaming red eyes, burning with an untold hatred. John Paul felt his heart begin to race with fear in anxiety, and he tried to call for help again, beginning to choke. Then slowly, ever so slowly, everything became dark as nothingness engulfed him.

[Next day, Vatican City meeting room]

Twenty four Cardinals sat around the long rectangle table. At its head, the empty seat of the pope. The religious leaders looked around at each other nervously, for the pope was never late. No matter the circumstances, he always made a special note to leave early just to arrive on time. No sooner had the assembly considered this breach of habit, however, then the doors to their chamber slammed open and the pope strolled casually in. He walked with a considerable jive in his step, and his subordinates glanced between each other in concern. They had NEVER seen the pope walk with this much vigor. Not even in his faithful years before taking the position. He sat down in his chair and crossed his hands, leaning forward onto the table.

"Now then," the pope chimed, newfound life in his voice, "I just learned that one of our slayers was killed in the states and nothing has been done about it."

"We are doing everything we can," Lazurus, the lead cardinal replied quickly, "but this murderer is of great power, your eminence."

"Well then 'Everything you can' isn't good enough", the pope spat, snarling lightly. "I will be taking control of this 'Great Holy War' myself. The threats that have presented themselves must be dealt with firmly, and since you have already displayed your inability to reconcile the situation, I shall."

"But your grace," another cardinal replied, "you cannot honestly think about going to Irvine, if the demon were to find out your life would be in grave danger."

"I concur," yet another cardinal beamed gruffly, "that is not an option, the church cannot and will not allow it."

"Fine then," the pope replied calmly. "I will carry out the necessary plans here from the Vatican, but I am still taking control of the Slayers' actions in America."

The cardinals mumbled lightly between themselves but knew they had not the power to dissuade him. The pope slowly leaned back, putting his crossed hands behind his head.

"Now then, while you were debating WHAT to do, I figured out HOW to do it," the pope gleamed, grinning. "Through reading old scriptures, and following the Lord's knowledge, I have finally narrowed down where and why the demon is in Irvine."

The cardinals once again all mumbled to each other.

"It turns out that an unprecedented concentration of unholy power is in Irvine. Specifically, directly underneath an abandoned factory on the outskirts of the city. This is where the demon hides and gathers its strength. This is where our slayers will strike and end this threat."

The cardinals all began to clap, to the last impressed by the dedication their leader was displaying. The pope simply bobbed his head wisely.

"We will dispatch a hundred slayers immediately, your holiness," a cardinal quickly blurted out.

"Oh no, no, no..." the pope returned, his face turning serious. "He is too powerful for that now, no less than a thousand slayers will be able to defeat this abomination. While casualties may be high, the means will justify the end and tens of thousands of slayers in the future will not have to give their lives to defeat this creature."

The cardinals mumbled and then nodded.

"And so it shall be."

-------------------------------------------

1000 slayers are being sent to Irvine.
Gaval has no clue about the 1000 slayers
The cardinals know something is up with the pope but dare not even think about saying it out loud.

Special thanks too Mu.

(STORY)"Strange Things Go Afoot at the Circle K" (In collaboration with Abadon)
Posted by GAVAL(CWAL)(ASG) , 152.163.213.176 on August 31, 1999 at 19:12:59:

Glancing around at the Slayers and CWALers who were prepping for an assault on OEEP headquarters from the CWAL Starbucks, the Slayer known as GAVAL finally felt like he was getting somewhere in restoring balance between good and evil in the once-quiet town known as Irvine.

As he approached the Slayers Chimneysweep known as Dick, Van, and Dyke, GAVAL stepped over one of MAGGOTT's smaller pistols, the humble circumference of a pine tree, and greeted his friends happily.

"Well, boys. What's the latest?"

"We got word on OEEP and on Malice and it looks good, mate." said Van through a sooty grin that showed only white teeth. "They really are smoked out by some kinda gas and are in a serious panic right now, what's with havin' no 'electricity and no ventilation, and now, most of em are unconscious."

Dick followed up, "There's a few of em kickin', but fer the most pahrt, they're in a panic. Puhfect toyme ta stroyke. An that Namrock with his crazy skull is too busy draggin' his chums out of that Wendy's H.Q. o' theirs to figure out 'ow ta use the thing."

GAVAL scratched his scruffy unshaven face as the look of impatient anticipation overtook him. "And that other thing I asked you about?"

Dyke stepped up with a sooty sheet of paper. Being the youngest of the Slayers Chimneysweep trio, he was a little new to delivering intelligence news to Slayers Cajun. Dyke cleared his throat and assumed what he thought was the best posture for official ASG business. "On the matter of the whereabout of the eival entity known as Malice, the Slayers Chimneysweep on this 31st day of September do report the following details: Malice is 'aving an Icee at the local Circle K convenience store after slitting the throats of said establishment's Arabian-American owner and operator."

"EVAAAL!"

Dyke looked up from his report, "I was just getting to that part..."

"Let's go! She won't be there for long!" cried GAVAL as he strapped the Dawn Damner around his waist, sheathed and ready for combat.

Dyke frowned and drooped his shoulders. "But oyme not done yet!"

"Buffy, Jo Bob, you're with me. Cabbot, get these guys over to OEEP and take them out! With any luck, we'll have balance restored to the Greater Irvine Metropolitan area in time for tea and pie these evening!" shouted GAVAL as he grabbed his keys and ran out of the door. Buffy, and Jo Bob, slayer redneck, were quick to follow.

Cabbot turned to glance at Pez and smiled warmly. "So, you play Starcraft, eh?"

In the darkened aisles of the corner Circle K, Malice crouched near a pile of opened packs of raw meat. The past few weeks had been a whirlwind for the Malice persona. Ripped from her counterpart, Frenzy, Malice was given a body from Sephroth that needed only blood to survive. But Malice was unused to being alone, much less in her own body, and after the previous conflict with the ASG and CWAL in a local gymnasium, she was not only separated from her benefactor, the elusive and wicked Sephroth, but she was also badly injured and left in a weakened condition after her escape.

Grappling around for anything that looked like blood, Malice bit into a frozen pork chop and instantly spit it out. Then she pulled a bottle of ketchup off of a shelf, knocking the entire aisle down, and tore into it, looking for anything that could quench her thirst for blood. Wincing and throwing away the bottle, Malice roared in frustration as her hunger made her increasingly delusional. Kicking over a barrel of Snacky Cakes that were on display, Malice tore into the Cherry Icee dispenser.

Red as it might have been, the malignant entity spit out the sticky-sweet substance. As she rummaged for the life-blood that she needed to regain her senses and power, the body of her victim came into view. As the mortally wounded store manager clutched at the sword gash across his stomach which game from Malice's feared and malicious blade, Durindina, he glared into the eyes of fear itself, approaching ever so slowly.

Samir had struggled to make it in this country. Stereotype or not, he had his store and had made capitalism work int his little California town, especially in the sales of caffeinated beverages. And now, after all his toils, his kids would be left without a father to put them through school...without a business to takeover. The thoughts were overpowering. He glanced at his revolver. It had one bullet left. After emptying 5 rounds into the frenzied white skinned brunette, she didn't even slow down. This last bullet would be for himself. Time was running out. As Malice reached over to grab Samir's leg, he pointed the pistol to his temple and prayed to Allah that his family might be spared the horrible death that he was facing, when something peculiar happened.

"EVAAAL!"

Malice glanced up at the entrance to the store to see a small white 2-door Blazer with a license plate on the front that said simply, "BiB." On the roof of this vehicle was the leather jacket-wearing, fedora-hat adorned slayer named GAVAL, eyes glowing cobalt blue, and stake in hand.

The Blazer roared through the front of the store and slammed on the brakes, knocking over the aisle of outdoors activity products. As GAVAL's momentum carried him through the air and directly into Malice, the two landed on the ground and rolled for several feet, crashing into the dairy products freezer. Samir said thanks to his god and ran out of the store throught he back entrance.

Laying on top of Malice and instantly recognizing that she was still separated from Sephroth, GAVAL couldn't help but be overjoyed at the prize he was going to take home in Malice. "Honey, I'm home!" laughed GAVAL as he gave Malice a big sloppy kiss on the cheek and brought his blade to her neck. The Dawn Damner, the ASG's most sacred and holy weapon, hummed with energy as it rested near Malice's jugular.

Malice had regained her composure and her senses just enough to realize that two more slayers, a blonde female, and a dirty man in coveralls, were standing over GAVAL with sharp pieces of wood pointed at her vital organs. The battle was lost, but she knew Sephroth was near. Dropping Durindina, Malice grinned at GAVAL and wickedly hissed out a response, "Mommy never tell you not to expect a kiss on the first date, Gavvy?"

The Slayers picked Malice up and binded her arms and legs together so that movement was nearly impossible. In her weakened state, there was no way she could get a spell off, or even try to retreat from these do-goobers. All she could do was wait. Their time would come. "You shouldn't gloat," Malice said to GAVAL as she was tied to the luggage rack of his Blazer. "I'd hate to see you buried with that arrogant look on your face."

"Oh, don't worry about that, Mally." said GAVAL. "I intend to stop gloating once you're safely in the brig at CWAL HQ and all my friends have poked their fun at you." As Malice screamed in frustration and hunger, GAVAL threw her evil blade into the back seat of the BiB and jumped in, revving up the engine and backing out of the corner Circle K. It all happened before the local authorities could even respond.

Thirty minutes later, at CWAL HQ, the party was just getting under way as hoardes of Zerg Canadian Canuckalisks, Duct Tape Mummies, Boodthirsty CWALers, Canadian Dominion infantry, and Slayers of the Ambiguous Slayers Guild started their march down the street towards OEEP headquarters. In the shadow of Mount Conveniant Plot device, the grande army marched towards its destination. Malice was behind bars, Sephroth was AWOL, and OEEP was mostly unconscious and disoriented. Today the DSA would fall and the Great Holy War of Irvine would end. The nightmares of Blizzard seemed like a distant dream of a memory in the shadow of the last several weeks.

As GAVAL made one last inspection of the titanium, airtight, force shielded cage that Pez and War2Guy had constructed of Protoss technology just for Malice, Mu entered the brig with a bothered look on his face.

"What's wrong, Mu? Loose another tongue depresser?" jested GAVAL as he strapped his bag of Slayer goodies over his back.

"Matters not fully well-conceived on your part have come to the point at which shared information would be the most logical course of action." replied the CWAL medic.

"You want to tell me something? Cool, let's be quick about it though...the DSA's going down tonight..."

"I'll say this in the most layman of terms, GAVAL. Have you ever fully come to fathom the motivation behind Sephroth's lividity towards your person in particular?"

GAVAL thought for a minute and responded. "I just figured it was because I was the local slayer in town and he was a natural enemy of mine. I mean, if anyone should hold a grudge on Sephroth, it should be me. He DID kill me."

"Twice."

"What?"

"When Sephroth impaled you upon his devil-blade during your sojourn into CWAL's past, that was the second time he's caused your demise."

GAVAL just looked at Mu and wondered if he had been drinking bad milk.

"In fact, GAVAL, you never did recover from the first time Sephroth killed you."

"Are you saying I'm dead?! That I'm not me?!"

"Not at all. I'm saying he killed you in another place, not in another time. In another reality. You see, about a year ago, Sephroth, in a wicked and arrogant game, decided to challenge MAGGOTT to a war. It would pit the most powerful forces known throughout reality against one another to see who was most powerful. I don't really remember it all that well myself, but you can guess why Sephroth has such a grudge against you."

GAVAL's eyes widened as he realized what Mu was telling him. "Sephroth lost this...this Great War. I beat him?"

Mu just stared back at GAVAL, as though in great pain, having recalled such a horrible memory, then finally responded. "Let's just say you prevented his winning. So you can see, GAVAL Van Helsing, why Sephroth wants you dead."

"If I stopped him then, he thinks I can stop him now...like I did last month."

Mu nodded.

"Then as soon as we take OEEP, I have to stop him...."

"Wait...there's something else you need to know."

GAVAL paused as he reached the door to the brig, and waited.

"Sephroth has something up his sleeve. He's departed for Italy. I can't tell you how or why I know this...I just know he's got something horrible planned...."

"Lazurus!" cried GAVAL as he leaned against the wall for support. "No!"

"You're referring to the infamous Cardinal Lazurus?"

"Yes...he's a perfect target for Sephroth. Not a man of great faith...the youngest Cardinal, but highest in rank."

Mu walked out of the room. "The course of action is clear, GAVAL. I wish you luck. I have a tongue depressor to find." Mu almost smiled as GAVAL realized he had actually cracked a joke.

GAVAL ran up to meet the small army headed for OEEP and pinpointed Buffy and Cabbot, the other Slayers who made Irvine their home. "Buffy, you're with me. We're going to the Vatican."

"But.." was all she could get out as the frantic Slayer Cajun turned to his friend Cabbot.

"You are in charge of the slayers here in Irvine. Take out OEEP and keep and eye on Malice until I get back. Good luck! Joe Bob, you're with me!" As the Slayer Redneck joined GAVAL and Buffy, Cabbot just scratched his head and shrugged as he turned towards the army and whittled a stake to a fine sharpness.

"Did you get plane tickets yet?" asked Buffy as Joe Bob caught up with her and GAVAL who was climbing up a nearby hill.

"Plane tickets?" asked GAVAL. "Where we're going, we don't need plane tickets."

Looming over the hill, the Orca, drop ship belonging to the pilot extra ordinaire and acting Emperor of the Canadian Dominion Fjorxce. On this particular day, however, the quirky and insane computer on board, Eddie, was flying the small ship.

As the Orca flew over the army and then pointed east towards Europe, GAVAL silently wished his friends luck in bringing down the DSA and OEEP as his mind flooded with horrible images of what Sephroth might do while in Vatican City.

To be Continued...

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Note: I do not intend to write about the siege of OEEP HQ. Phasmus created that scenario and I went along with it, but I'm going to be focusing on the conflict between Sephroth and GAVAL and on the Slayers themselves. Feel free to write about the attack on OEEP yourselves and to use the 29 slayers remaining in Irvine, but let me know if you plan on killing any of them.

What has happened:

Malice has been captured by GAVAL and put in an almost impossible to escape situation, weakened and deprived of blood. Her sword has been hidden. Mu has informed GAVAL of the grudge Sephroth has against him and of the Great War, which no one else knows about. GAVAL decides to head for Vatican City on a tip from Mu to stop Sephroth from striking at the heart of the ASG while the other slayers along with CWAL, the Zerg Canadians, the Hoarde, and the Dominion are marching to a gassed OEEP HQ.

Gav

"Evil totally sucks ass!"