(GHW)The Hammer Falls(DSA)

Here it is, finally! Worship the story, and shower it in lavish gifts!

Note that I'm not sure if the embedded midis will work in IE. (I don't see why they wouldn't, but when I tried 'em on the HTML testing page they only worked in Netscape.) So, basically, if you sold out to Little Billy and you can't hear my divinely inspired musical score, then tough. Switch to Netscape. Serves ya right for bowing to the frickin RAND CORPORATION and their frickin FAKE MOON LANDINGS!!!

*cough*

Enjoy.

     
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     The bridge of the Phoenix was silent as the huge ship flew through the clouds towards Irvine, California. The ship had left London 4 hours ago, and now there was only another 15 minutes before they'd reach Irvine and, for lack of a better term, lay down the smack on the Dark Star Alliance.
     "Ship status?" Fjorxc asked, staring out the viewscreen at the clouds rapidly moving past the Phoenix.
     "Sir," the lieutenant manning the engineering console answered, "you've asked that 5 times in the past 40 minutes. The engines haven't spontaneously fallen off since then. We're fine."
     "Alright, alright!" Fjorxc turned to Norf. "You'd better go back to the cargo hold and get ready, Norf. Scientist Bob's waiting back there."
     "Sure," Norf replied. He picked up his pitchfork and left the bridge, wearing the same scowl he'd had since Freerunner had been kidnapped.
     "Sometimes I worry about that boy," Fjorxc muttered to no one in particular.

     Norf walked into the tiny cargo hold of the Phoenix, immediately noticing the famous Scientist Bob of Dominion R&D busy tinkering with some random piece of equipment.
     "Bob?"
     "Zuh?" Bob turned around. "Oh, good day Admiral."
     "You have something that's supposed to help me on the rescue mission?" Norf asked.
     "Help?" Bob replied, now grinning. "This little creation is going to make your rescue mission POSSIBLE." The scientist pulled back a curtain, revealing what looked like a 6-foot tall humanoid robot. "Presenting the Banshee power suit Mark I."
     Norf looked surprised. "Banshee power suit? The last prototype I saw was twelve feet tall and looked like something out of Total Annihilation."
     Bob nodded. "Yes, that was about... three revisions ago. We've overcome many of the technological hurdles since then. This version is smaller, more manoeuvrable, and employs a direct neural interface for control."
     "It doesn't look like it has much armour," Norf said, looking at the very slight size difference between the suit and an average human. Bob simply smiled.
     "But it IS, Admiral. We used that stuff the Canuck's hull was made of."
     "Duranium? You figured out how to make that?"
     "That we did, Admiral. We're planning to refit the hulls of the transport ships with them when we get some time. For now, this suit compresses the equivalent of 6 feet of tempered steel into plating an inch thick. Not only that, but the suit weighs in at 4 metric tons. We had to use a small antigrav system to make it possible for the suit to move."
     "Nice..." Norf could only say.
     "Isn't it though? The only real problem is cost, and the fact that each unit has to be custom-fitted exactly to whoever's going to be using it. We're fortunate that we used you're measurements for a template to build this prototype."
     "I'm thrilled. The problem is that I have 15 minutes to figure out how to use this damn thing."
     "I'm sure you'll manage."

     Fronette walked through OEEP's war room on her way back to the battle outside after coming inside to gloat at Freerunner and hold teletubbie dolls in front of the unfortunate Canadian's face. Such things were part of her "evil clone" contract with the author. Revanant, who was busy monitoring the myriad consoles due to his total ineptitude at combat, spoke to her.
     "Uh, Fronette... I'm picking up the Phoenix on a direct heading for us," the Yimotian reported, sounding nervous.
     "How many ships with them?" Fronette asked.
     "Eh... that's just it. There's no other ships with them."
     "That's strange," the clone said. "Is Frog's paper clip cloak detector still working?"
     "No, unfortunately. Freerunner managed to land a kick on it when your minions were dragging her in here. It sort of fell apart."
     "Damn. Well, keep monitoring them."

     The bridge of the Phoenix was now full of activity. Full alert status had been called for 2 minutes ago, and crewmembers were busy running several quick diagnostic cycles to be sure that the guns would shoot when somebody told them to.
     "ETA 2 minutes," the ship's computer reported. Fjorxc simply looked at the viewscreen, which was showing a magnified view of the battle in front of OEEP Headquarters. Scientist Bob chose that moment to enter the bridge.
     "We've got Norf ready for beam-in as soon as you're in range," the scientist reported.
     "How's he doing with the Banshee suit?" Fjorxc asked.
     "He'll manage. You'll have to set him down outside on the lawn of the Wendy's, though, they've got an electromagnetic shield protecting the building."
     "That's fine. We're going to wait until the landing cycle is halfway done before we teleport him down, hopefully the OEEPers won't notice him."
     "ETA 1 minute," the computer reported.
     "Raise shields and arm all weapons," Fjorxc ordered.
     "Aye sir. Shields and weapons are online," a crewmember replied. "Yamato cannon at full charge."
     "General," Scientist Bob said, "I'm getting some odd readings from the vicinity of Blizzard's Mt. CPD."
     "Mt. ConvenientPlotDevice? What could be causing them?" Fjorxc asked.
     "I'm not sure, sir. It could be nothing."
     "This being CWAL, I doubt we're that lucky. Continue scans."
     "Sir," a crewmember reported, "we've arrived."
     "Order the transport ships to begin the landing sequence."

     The main street of Irvine was fairly still, besides the noise of the battle going on a few blocks away. Abandoned and collapsed buildings lined the street, panicked people having fled the city at the start of the war. There was a shimmer in the air. Light bent around crazily, making buildings and trees appear to be melting almost. Suddenly, the shimmer coalesced into a huge starship, then another. They slowly descended to the ground, landing struts extending from their bellies. Boarding ramps opened along the lengths of the CTS Vimy Ridge and the CTS Juno Beach, and the heavily armed soldiers of the Canadian Dominion began pouring out, running towards OEEP Headquarters.

     "SHIT!" Fronette yelled, looking at the screen in front of her. She should've known they'd have cloaked ships. "Contact all of the Black Majah! Have them meet me at the front door."
     "Fronette, there's 4000 Dominion soldiers out there!" Fronette considered this for a moment.
     "So, about 200 each? Sounds about right."
     With that, Fronette left, leaving Revanant monitoring the consoles. He watched the battle on the screens. It seemed to have been going fairly well for them, but with 4000 enemy troops suddenly arriving on the scene...
     Suddenly, Revenant found himself skidding across the floor, his chair having been abruptly knocked across the room. The Yimotian looked up and saw the rather intimidating visage of a man in a large power suit. The visor on the suit's helmet suddenly opened, revealing Norf's face. The Canadian grabbed Revanant by the collar of his shirt and pulled him up to eye level.
     "Where is she?" Norf growled. Revanant babbled incoherently. "I said WHERE IS SHE!?!" Norf yelled, causing Revanant to become even more frightened and begin babbling even more incoherently. Norf looked at the Yimotian for a moment, then tossed him across the room in disgust. Revanant heard the crunching sound of his own bones breaking before sliding into unconsciousness. Norf looked at him for a moment, then continued into OEEP Headquarters.

     "Norf's in," Scientist Bob reported, "and our troops have landed. The transport ships have cloaked and are moving off to a safe distance."
     "How are the troops doing?"
     "They're taking some heavy losses from Fronette and her Black Majah, it seems."
     "Hrm... prepare to fire the Yamato Canon," Fjorxc ordered. "Maybe we can give them a hand."
     "Sir, you might want to save that Yamato energy," Bob said. "I'm picking up two ships on an intercept course. The Discontinuity and the Hawthorne. Looks like they were hidden behind Mt. CPD."
     "Very well then. Bring us to an intercept course. Prepare all systems for combat."

     Fronette laughed evilly as another group of Canadian soldiers were burned to death by green fire. By her estimate, 200 of those fools had died in the first 30 seconds. The idiots just didn't know what fully trained Knights of Ni were capable of, evil or not.
     One of the soldiers nearby brought his gun to bear on her. The bullets impacted against the Nishield she threw up, and Fronette simply electrocuted the man with her cattle prod. This was too easy.
     Suddenly, Fronette noticed something on the edge of the battle. A green light hung in mid-air. It began to get bigger, expanding into a large Ni portal. Fronette swore.
     "Damnit, close that portal, someone!" the clone yelled. Obediently, 5 of the Knights began using their energy to attempt to close the portal. It was in vain, however, as the portal continued to expand. It stopped suddenly, and a man walked through. There was a gun at his waist and a cattle prod in his hand.
     "I have conquered the evil and returned to bring light to another day," Fron proclaimed, obviously ripping off a line from the Maggott Show. Behind him, more shapes began walking through the portal. 30 Knights of Ni walked through, holding swords with mangreals of their own.
     Fron turned to look at the 2000 or so surviving Canadians. "You can go fight the rest of the unwashed heathens," Fron called to them. "We'll take care of these folks here."
     As the Canadian troops obediently moved towards OEEP Headquarters, Fronette turned to look at Fron.
     "We'll need some sort of music for this, you know." She said.
     "You're right," Fron said. "Duel of the Fates?"
     "Bah, that's what everyone uses."
     The two thought for a moment. Suddenly, Fron looked up.
     "I know what we can use!" With this, fighting music filled the air.

     Fronette looked dubious. "Uhhh..."
     Fron looked at her with hatred. "VIDEO KILLED THE RADIO STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!" With that, Fron and the Knights of Ni charged.
     Fronette shrugged. The battle was on.

     "Lock Yamato cannon on the Discontinuity and fire!" Fjorxc yelled. The sound of the ship's most powerful weapon charging up was welcome to him as laser blasts and microtorpedoes struck the shields of his own ship. The Phoenix's lasers were effective, but against two ships Fjorxc didn't see how they'd be enough.
     "Direct hit! We knocked out their starboard shields!" a crewmember reported.
     "Great! Concentrate fire on that quarter."
     The bridge shook as more weapons fire hit it. On the screen, the Discontinuity was turning to present its port side to the Phoenix, giving its starboard shields time to regenerate. The smaller Hawthorne was busy firing phasers and torpedoes at the lumbering Battlecruiser.
     "Sir," Scientist Bob piped up, "I'm reading three ships decloaking directly above us. They look like Klingon birds of prey." On the screen, two of the BoPs dove after the Hawthorne, the ExileCorp logo clearly visible on their wings. The other flew after the Discontinuity, positioning itself to fire on the stricken starboard flank of SimMaster's vessel. Fjorxc smiled.
     "I knew Exile would end up doing SOMETHING this war..."

     A few bullets struck Norf's armour harmlessly before the Canadian could cross the intervening distance and unceremoniously slam the ComuNazi's head into the wall. The way the suit added to his strength was really useful.
     Norf entered another room, and he immediately noticed something that he had not expected. The 10-meter tall, heavily armed Genesis Engine that housed Zenogias's consciousness was waiting for him.
     "Now this WILL be a challenge," Norf said quietly as guns popped out of the arms of his suit.

     Freerunner and DBD were both started by the sound of gunfire from inside the building. As the OEEPer turned to look for anything out of the ordinary, Freerunner silently pulled a pair of nail clippers out of her pocket that she'd manage to conceal when she was kidnapped. Behind her back, she slowly began to cut away at the rope that held her hands together.

     Fronette struck at Fron with her cattle prod, and was surprised when the Emperor made no attempt to block. He simply smiled as the electrical discharge hit him, and kicked Fronette in the knee, knocking her off balance.
     "Argh! How do you do that!"
     "Come now Fronette," Fron said, jabbing at her with his cattle prod, which Fronette blocked, "you've fought me in another universe. You must've found out that using this cattle prod for so long has made me practically immune to electrical shock."
     "Feh," Fronette replied, attempting to punch Fron in the face but getting her hand zapped in the process, "I know more than you could possibly realise."
     "Whatever." Fron paused for a moment. "You know, this music really doesn't work too well. I think we'll go back to good ol' Duel of the Fates."

     Fronette looked resigned. "Fine, fine... NI!!!"
     Fron was caught off guard as a green bolt flew from Fronette's hand and slammed into his chest. Fronette looked over and watched as the life drained from his eyes.
     "Conformist."

     

     Fron stood, bewildered, on a white escalator extending into the clouds. Suddenly, the clouds parted, and there was a bright light at the top of the escalator.

     "Fron..."

     Fron looked around. "Mom?"

     "I'm not your mother, you idiot. I am God."

     "Oh. Cool."

     "Stay away from the light, you dork."

     "Uhh... what?"

     "I said stay away from the light! I'm the almighty here, so don't tick me off. Now, what in My name are you doing here?"

     "Uhhh... I'm dead, aren't I?"

     "That's a rather stupid question. That shot didn't even break one of your ribs, you dolt."

     "Then what am I doing up here?"

     "We were about to ask you the same question."

     "Oh... well, how do I get back down?"

     "Leave that to us."

     With that, two angels descended from the sky to the escalator. They calmly walked over to Fron and pushed him over the railing, causing him to fall back to Earth.

     "I love doing that."

     

     Fronette stood, watching the battle between the Black Majah and the Knights of Ni when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning around, she was immediately punched in the stomach. The clone jumped back and drew her cattle prod, catching her breath. Looking at her attacker, she saw Fron's grinning face.
     "Miss me?"

     Fjorxc watched as the last Bird of Prey exploded in a brilliant fireball. This was not a good thing, since his own ship had taken quite a bit of a pounding. The fact that the enemy ships had as well did not comfort him.
     "Is the Yamato cannon ready?" Fjorxc asked.
     "Sorry, sir," a crewmember replied, "the batteries are charged, but the emitter assembly's fused. We can't fire.
     "Crap. Options?"
     "Well, there is something," Scientist Bob said, "both of their shields are heavily damaged. We might be able to use a high-powered, modulated teleporter beam to beam in an explosive or something."
     "That's a good idea against the Hawthorne, but the entire hull of the Discontinuity is EM-reflective."
     Scientist Bob smiled slightly as he brought up a diagram of SimMaster's ship on a small screen in front of him. Bob operated a few more controls, and blue lines were superimposed over the vessel in a shape reminiscent of veins.
     "Look at this, General," the Scientist said. "We've managed to rough up their exterior armour plating in a few places. Particularly right here." Bob pointed to a spot on the diagram where the lines ran close to each other, near the middle of the ship's length. "Almost all their primary power is routed through this point. It's close enough to the outside of the ship to beam an explosive in, and cut off all power to the front section."
     Fjorxc looked at him. "How long until you can do it?"
     "It'll take a bit of time to scan their remaining shields and get the modulation on the teleporter right. We'll beam a small thermal warhead into the engineering section of the Hawthorne as well. Should be about 5 minutes."
     "Make it so."
     Scientist Bob nodded and hurriedly left the bridge as the ship shook from more weapons fire.

     Norf dove away just as rockets and gattling lasers impacted the ground where he'd been standing a half-second before. Wasting no time, he ran towards Zeno's robotic death machine, diving between its legs to keep out of the OEEPer's line of fire. Standing behind the Genesis Engine, Norf extended a chaingun from each of his suit's arms and fired at Zeno's back. The bullets bounced off just as they had before. As Zeno turned around to shoot at Norf again, the Canadian ran past him, swiping at the robot's leg with one armoured hand. His augmented strength was still only enough to make Zenogias stumble slightly. Chaingun bullets fired from Zeno's arms impacted off Norf's own armour as Norf fired a small rocket at Zeno which missed and exploded uselessly against the wall.
     "This is definitely going to be a long day."

     Fron struck out with a whip formed of pure Ni energy, catching Fronette's leg and pulling her to the ground. Fronette countered with a fireball, which Fron was barely able to dodge, giving his clone a chance to get back up. The two rushed at each other again, cattle prods and all manner of Ni energy clashing together.
     "You fight well for someone only 6 months old," Fron said, blocking one of Fronette's strikes.
     "You speak as if someone who sits on their ass playing Starcraft all day deserves to be judging other people's combat technique."
     "Bah!" was Fron's witty reply as he blocked a bolt of Ni energy with a small shield, then sent the shield forward to slam into Fronette's stomach, winding her. The clone jumped back to catch her breath, putting up a larger shield of her own for a moment to keep Fron away.
     The dead body of one of the Black Majah fell to the ground beside Fron, green light fading from its eyes. The battle continued.

     On the bridge of the small federation frigate Hawthorne, Akardam watched on the viewscreen as the Phoenix continued to take a pounding from the two DSA ships. Laser blasts from the battlecruiser itself were inflicting their share of damage on the Discontinuity and the Hawthorne, but without the help of its fighter compliment the Phoenix was definitely losing the battle.
     "Sir," one of the ensigns manning various control panels said, "I'm reading a teleport in progress from the Phoenix! It's directed at our engineering section!"
     "Intruder alert!" Akardam yelled, moments before his entire bridge crew were tossed around like rag dolls from a huge internal explosion. As the officers climbed back into their seats, the internal communication channels were suddenly flooded with different departments informing the bridge of the damage.
     "Report!" Akardam ordered. The junior officer at the Engineering console spoke up.
     "It looks like they managed to beam some sort of explosive into our engineering section, sir. We're going to have to eject the warp reactor, or we'll have a core breach."
     "Do it," Akardam said.
     "Aye, sir," the officer acknowledged, operating some controls on his console. "The core is safely away. Unfortunately, it looks like the initial explosion sent a surge through the power network. We've lost main power entirely, and emergency power is at 50%."
     Akardam scowled. "We're sitting ducks."

     "What's our status?" SimMaster asked. The bridge of the Discontinuity was in flames, and an engineering crew was busy with manual fire extinguishers since the automatic suppression system had failed.
     "The explosion completely cut off power to the front half of the ship. Engines seem to be online, but the control linkages are fried. All the weapons are out, as well as forward shields," one of his crewmembers replied.
     "What about the Hawthorne?"
     "I've only got partial sensors, and communications are out, but it looks to me like they've lost all power."
     "Goddamnnit!" SimMaster turned to Scotty, the most recent addition to the ship's crew. "Is there any way to restore power to the front section?"
     "Aye, that there might, lad, Scotty replied. "I think we can send a bit of power through yer structural integrity field from the rear section to the front section. We cannae send too much, though, or the Phoenix there'll detect it."
     "How much power can we send through without them detecting it?"
     "Well, I cannae say for sure, but probably just enough to run one of your mass-transit devices. We could use it to beam me into the damaged section, where I could probably jurry-rig enough of a repair to get shields and weapons back up."
     "Sounds good. Do it."

     Fjorxc looked out upon his two crippled enemies, who were hanging motionless in the sky over Irvine.
     "Why don't we just blow them both up?" Scientist Bob asked.
     "Because," Fjorxc responded with a sigh, "we're good guys. We're not allowed to."
     "Oh. What are we going to do with them?"
     "Beats me. Probably board their ships and take them into custody or something."
     Suddenly, the computer began beeping frantically. One of the officers on the bridge turned to look at the readout for a moment, his face paling.
     "Sir!" the man half-yelled. "The Discontinuity has main power back online! Their shields are already up, and they're arming weapons!"
     "Lock all of our weapons on target and fire at will!" Fjorxc ordered. Scientist Bob simply shook his head.
     "We don't have enough left to bring down their shields before they have a chance to fully charge their WhuppAssinator 5000," he said. "They'll be able to fire within 15 seconds."
     "Well damn."

     "Full charge... now, sir." The weapons officer reported. SimMaster smiled. The bridge and the ship seemed almost to shake with renewed energy. Scotty would be insufferably pleased with himself for weeks, but it was worth it. SimMaster leaned towards the viewer and clenched his fist dramatically."
     "MODE SELECT!!!"
     The rest of the bridge crew regarded their captain strangely for a moment.
     "Oh, right. Fire!"
     Almost immediately, the massive WhuppAssinator 5000 attached to his ship's hull began to glow and shriek in anticipation of releasing its deadly energy. After a moment, a huge blue bolt shot from it, flying towards the Phoenix at high speed.
     As SimMaster watched, he was immensely started as a huge green shape suddenly flew between the two ships. The blue bolt impacted harmlessly against it, and the shape moved out of the way of the two ships.
     "What the HELL was that!?!"
     "Reads as a starship, sir," one of his officers replied. "Modified Klingon design, length 8km. Marked as the ESS Absolution."

     The ESS Absolution, flagship of the ExileCorp fleet, made its way past the location where the 3 much smaller ships had been engaged in battle, flying upwards and taking a position to block out the sun, causing a shadow to fall over much of the city.
     On the bridge of the Absolution, lit only with red Klingon mood lighting, the proprietor of ExileCorp, the infamous dark templar known as Exile, sat in the stereotypically uncomfortable-looking command chair. Said dark templar was currently looking out his viewer at the starships below.
     "Open a channel to the two newbie ships," Exile ordered. The chime of hailing frequencies being opened was heard a second later, and the face of the two newbie captains, SimMaster and Akardam, appeared on the screen. Looking rather alarmed, and for good reason. Exile was the first to speak.
     "You have dicked around with allies and loyal customers of ExileCorp. Prepare to be killed and stuff."
     The two newbies became noticeably more alarmed at this statement. Suddenly, SimMaster spoke up.
     "Wait!" he said frantically, looking at the picture of Akardam on his own viewer for a moment. "We need to talk."

     Norf dove for cover as several different forms of weaponry impacted against the ground behind him. So far, the battle had largely been a stalemate, with neither side having been able to inflict significant damage upon the other. However, Norf was getting tired despite the aid of the power suit he wore, and Zenogias didn't show any signs of running out of power any time soon. Caught listening to the narrator at a crucial moment, Norf misjudged a dodge, causing one of the powerful rockets to explode right under him. The Canadian was sent flying through the air, landing on the floor and causing a few new cracks to appear in it. Norf tried to get up, but found that his suit's antigrav generator was being fritzy and the entire weight of the thing would be holding him down until the auto-repair system kicked in. He was barely able to turn his head to see Zenogias walking menacingly towards him.
     "You were foolish to come here, Norf," Zeno's booming voice proclaimed from the speakers on the Genesis Engine. "Being your average evil character, I'm sure you've figured that I'm about to kill you."
     "You have made a grave mistake," a deep voice, seemingly coming from nowhere, said. Suddenly, Zeno's internal alarms began registering with the mechanical equivalent of intense pain as a warp blade dug itself into his back.
     "Insufferable dark templar!" Zeno yelled, turning around and searching for the telltale optical distortion that would reveal the presence of anyone cloaked. "Show yourself!"
     Exile didn't exactly agree with the idea, but he didn't have much of a choice as a panel of Zeno's frame opened, spraying fog into the room. The silhouette of the dark templar was easily visible, and Exile was forced to dodge frantically as hot plasma flew towards him. Zeno was suddenly pelted with bullets, forcing his attention to Norf, who was back on his feet.
     Norf dodged again, and watched as Exile ran past Zeno, slashing a large hole in the machine's leg. As Zenogias turned back to Exile, Norf saw the dark templar throw something backwards to him. Plucking the small metal device out of the air, Norf smiled at the sight of a standard ExileCorp model #48367b EMP Discharger, available in chrome, void black, or starship blue. Seeing Zeno still occupied with Exile, Norf ran towards him with all the speed he could muster while inside a 4-ton death machine, which was surprisingly fast. As he ran between Zeno's huge legs, the Canadian quickly tossed the small canister into the hole in Zenogias's leg.
     Almost immediately, Zenogias was consumed with electricity, shutting down the Genesis Engine's primary functions. After a few moments, the huge robot came crashing to the ground, creating more cracks in the floor. Breathing heavily, Norf raised the visor on his suit and walked over to wear Exile stood, now decloaked.
     "Better hurry," the dark templar said, "that's our most powerful hand-held EMP device, but he won't be down for long. You think you'll be all right on your own from here on?"
     "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can handle it," Norf replied.
     "Great, I've got to get back up to the Absolution and kick some Dark Star ass. See you later."
     Exile walked away, moments before an orange Klingon transporter beam enveloped him. Norf walked out of the room, deeper into the building.

     Fron and his clone continued to rain blows on each other, nearly all of them were blocked easily. The two combatants were beginning to tire, but neither was willing to stop the fight, mainly because it was obvious that the other would kill them if they did.
     Fron launched a quick series of attacks with his cattle prod at Fronette, who yelled in pain as one of the luckier strikes caused electricity to course into her shoulder. Filled with anger, she lunged at him with her own cattle prod, and Fron was forced to retreat.
     Concentrating on blocking Fronette's attacks, Fron didn't notice the body behind him until he tripped on it and unceremoniously fell straight backwards, his cattle prod flying from his hand. Slightly dazed, he simply watched as Fronette walked over to him, an irritatingly smug expression on her face.
     "Ah, Fron, you old fool..." Fronette began.
     "Old? You're physically just as old as I am!"
     "That's not important, damnit! Now..."
     At this point, Fron tuned out the standard evil gloating stage, and looked around quickly for something he could use. His cattle prod was at least 3 meters away, and there was no way he could get to it before Fronette could react. Closer by, he saw the helmet of the dead Black Majah he'd tripped over, knocked free at some point. Distracting the clone by yelling random defiant sentences, he grabbed the helmet and hit Fronette in the side of the head with it. The OEEPer immediately clutched her head and stumbled backwards. Fron spun around on the ground and kicked Fronette in the leg, causing her to lose her balance and nearly fall. Getting up quickly, Fron walked over to Fronette.
     "How do you DO that!?!" Fronette asked.
     "Simple. I'm a primary character."
     Although puzzled, Fronette had little time to consider the reply before a punch to her temple knocked her to the ground, unconscious.

     Fron looked at her for a moment, then walked over and retrieved his cattle prod. Surveying the battlefield, he saw that this secondary fighting was basically over, the Knights of Ni having entirely eradicated the Black Majah by superior numbers. Aleos walked over to Fron, blood tricking from a small wound in his arm.
     "It's finished," the Lord of the Onyx Forest said. "We lost 10 of the Knights, but we managed to eliminate the Black Majah."
     "Thank you." was Fron's reply.
     "In a few minutes, once they've rested, I'm going to take the 12 that are still in fighting condition over to the main battle. The other 8 have all ready been sent back to the Forest to recuperate."
     "All right. I'll be joining the siege too, in a moment, but there's a few things I have to take care of first."
     Aleos nodded and walked back to the other Knights of Ni, while Fron walked over to where his clone lay on the pavement. He flipped open his small communicator.
     "Fron to Phoenix. Come in, Phoenix."
     "FRON! When the hell did you get back!?!"
     "Right after the Vimy Ridge and the Juno Beach landed. Is everything okay up there, Forks? I almost got my head taken off by a few pieces of falling debris."
     "We were having a few problems, but everything's fine now. What's your status?"
     "The Knights of Ni and I managed to take care of the Black Majah, but not before they did a number on your infantry reinforcements. Whatever possessed you to send redshirts in against an enemy like that, anyway?"
     "We weren't really expecting to run into them."
     "Ah. At any rate, teleport me aboard. I have a prisoner."
     A moment later, shimmering light enveloped Fron and Fronette. The light collapsed in on itself, and the two figures disappeared, leaving the dead to themselves.

     

     Norf walked purposefully towards the door to OEEP Headquarters' detention area. He knew he was getting close. Explosions and screams were audible from the battle raging outside, and occasionally the building shook from artillery bombardment. It was time to get out of here. Norf found the reinforced door, grabbed the handle, and ripped the whole thing off its hinges. He stepped through.
     "Stop right there!" a voice yelled from the other side of the room. Norf looked and saw DBD holding Freerunner roughly by the neck with one hand, and pointing a gun at the side of her head with the other. "If you come any closer, I'll blow her head off!"
     "No you won't," Norf replied. "You know that if you do, I'll kill you in an incredibly painful way."
     "Yeah, well if you're coming any closer, then that's probably what you're planning to do anyway, so I really wouldn't have anything to lose," DBD replied, the expression on his face making it obvious that Bad~Rel was in control right now. "I'd suggest you just back away... slowly."
     Norf looked over at Freerunner. She looked to be in fairly good shape, which was fortunate for all concerned. If the OEEPers had mistreated her, he'd have hung them all by their genitals from the CN Tower. Freerunner looked up and made eye contact with Norf, then slowly winked at him. Norf's wonderings about what the hell that was supposed to mean were interrupted by DBD.
     "I told you to BACK OFF, Canuck! Get moving before I shoot your girlfriend here!"
     Norf complied, slowly backing away. DBD watched him carefully. Suddenly, Freerunner brought her arms up from where they should've been tied. Surprising DBD, she hit the back of the OEEPer's elbow with her left forearm, knocking his aim away from her head, then brought her right forearm up and snapped his arm in half at the elbow. DBD screamed in pain, and Freerunner quickly stepped in and knocked him unconscious with a punch to the head, continuing an emerging theme of this story.

     It took approximately 1.3 seconds for Norf and Freerunner to cross the distance between each other. It was quite a bit longer before either had a chance to say anything, what with the kissing and all.
     The obligatory romantic scene over, the author now chooses to get on with the plot.
     "I think it's about time to get out of here," Norf finally said.
     "Probably a good idea. The building smells funny, it's being bombarded with artillery shells, and there's a gang war going on in the parking lot."
     A short Japanese man in a white business suit suddenly came crashing through the window.
     "Forgiveness, please," the man said, before jumping back outside through the broken window.
     Unperturbed, Norf pressed a small button on the arm of his armour and spoke into the communications thingy in his helmet.
     "Norf to Phoenix... come in, Phoenix."
     "This is Phoenix, we read you clearly. What's your status?"
     "I have Freerunner. Let's go home."
     "Roger that, Admiral. Prepare for immediate teleportation. Phoenix out."
     Light enveloped the two Canadians, and they were gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The End~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     
Dedicated to:
A girl in my music class

Primary reason for current state of insanity:
See above

Reason for horrific lateness:
I'm frickin' lazy.

And now, myriad statistics, blatantly ripped off from Ravil!

This story contains:

13 pages
5,693 words
246 paragraphs
707 lines

...and required some unknown amount of time that I could've spent doing something far more productive.

Have a safe drive home, folks!
     

Fron(CWAL)
Norf(CWAL HV)
Fronette(OEEP)

"Domo oregato, Mr. Roboto!"

(Story) Turning Point (Story)
Posted by SimMaster the not-really-a-newbie-anymore (read) , 209.239.217.164 on October 03, 1999 at 19:03:53:

(story) In which craploads of stuff happens (story)

By the SimMaster

DISCLAIMER: This work is copyright (c) 1999 the SimMaster (Jeff Steinberg), and published through the Eighty Irvinian Psychos group (NYSE: CWAL :D). All Rights Reserved. Copy this or make derivative works of it without my EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION and I will humiliate you in the public eye until the Senate votes to have you flogged on the steps of the Capitol. Have a nice day.

(Four spaceships, of sizes varying from that of a house to that of Denver, hang in geosynchronous orbit over the most war-torn city on the only inhabited planet orbiting an ordinary star in an unattractive backwater of the Western arm of the Galaxy.)

(We go now to the blockiest of the four, an enhanced Behemoth-class battlecruiser by the name of CSS Phoenix, specifically, to the vaguely Trek-like yet vaguely Starcraft-like teleporter booth on deck 5.)

*bwrrr*

(Two lovers appear in the booth, and walk off to the section containing the officers' quarters.)

o/` da da Da - da da Da DA - da da Da o/`

(Somewhat loud mood music that would normally only be played during o/` elevator music like nobody has ever seen o/` somehow escapes from the room and returns down the hall. The ship compensates by shutting down all the hall audio on the deck. That somehow works.)

(The teleporter operator returns from lunch, and feeds the data to the ship log. She then proceeds to activate the machine for the next two.)

*bwrrr*

(The two, a person of high command and his incapacitated evil female clone materialize on the pad. The operator is the first to speak.)

Operator: Good afternoon, Emperor. I take it the raid on the Wendy's went well?

Fron: Of course it did, Ensign. You need not worry about that. Would you please notify the brig that I have an *ahem* special delivery?

Operator: Absolutely, Emperor. *beepity beepity* They're all ready for you.

Fron: Thank you. As you were.

(Fron proceeds to drag Fronette to the brig. Almost immediately, the signal for another beam-up goes off.)

Operator: What the - ? There aren't any more scheduled beam-ins!

*bwrrr*

(Two more figures appear on the pad. It is evident that they, as some Canadians would say, "ain't from around here." In fact, they're the ones responsible for imprisoning the vets and regulars in a holodeck for a week and a half and now were being shot at for mistaken identity. That's right. That's EXACTLTY who they are.)

SimMaster: Correction: There WEREN'T any more scheduled beam-ins.

Akardam: We have some... negotiations to take care of.

Operator: Terrorists! Not again. Sit tight whilst I call the Emperor. *blip* (in a somewhat hushed tone) Emperor Fron! I have an unscheduled beam-in! Two terrorists are in the teleporter bay.

>>>Fron: What are they wearing?
|
----signifies communication over an electronic medium

Operator: Is this REALLY the time for that, Emperor?

>>>Fron: I mean as IDENTIFICATION! Gyeah.

Operator: Ahh. One's wearing a classic Starfleet uniform and holding a disconnected PS/2 keyboard, and the other one is in a flight jacket and jeans and holding a REALLY big gun.

>>>Fron: Oh. OK. Send them to the guest quarters on deck 3.

Operator: I don't like the looks of this.

>>>Fron: Are you speaking of insubordination?

Operator: No sir, I was merely expressing my opinion.

>>>Fron: Now is not the time to express your opinion. Just escort the two to guest quarters on deck 3.

Operator: Yes sir. *blip* The emperor says to follow me.

Akardam: Cool! Service!

SimMaster: Yes. Can we go now?

Akardam: Oh, right.

(All three wander out the door, and to the turbolift across the hall, which closes.)

(Several seconds later)

*bwrrr*

(A mobile tri-D recorder materializes, and heads for the Manual Access (roughly analogous to Trek's Jeffries Tubes).)

(Back on the ground, Zeno is talking to Namrok.)

Namrok: I fail to see why the Architect and the Hacker can be *retch* Good.

Zenogias: Think about it. Every single time the Dark Star Alliance has faced good, those two were nowhere to be found.

Namrok: They have LIVES. The fact that they're absent could mean that they are simply doing stuff.

Zenogias: True, it is foolish to think that one who still possesses life would not use it.

...

They were also supposedly chasing down a blueprint while Fronette was captured. I merely wish to verify these events, then I will act.

Namrok: So THAT'S why you beamed the tri-D aboard the Phoenix.

Zenogias: Yes it is. Be patient, Necromancer.

(CSS Phoenix Brig)

(Fron walks in, dragging Fronette behind him.)

Fron: Lower the force field.

Security Guard: Of course, Emperor. (lowers force field) Are you sure you want to go in there? He's sleeping.

Fron: Not for long. (walks in, drops Fronette onto the makeshift bed, grabs the nose of the other person inside)

"OWWWW! DAMMIT!"

Fron: (menacingly) Wakey wakey.

Arcturus: Agh... You really must treat your prisoners better. So where's the paintball field?

Fron: Let me make this clear. I am the Emperor of the Canadian Dominion. You are an unwashed American heathen with a paintball gun. Your path of exiting this vessel shall be determined by your attitude with me.

Arcturus: If I'm good, how do I get off?

Fron: I'll get you a ride on a visiting ship.

Arcturus: And if I'm bad?

Fron: Remember Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Remember what happened with the Vogons?

Arcturus: eep! I'll be good.

Fron: Yes you will. Now get out of here. This cell is for someone worse than you.

Arcturus: Where am I supposed to go?

Fron: I dunno. It's not like you can be homeless here. _-¯Damn... I can't just leave him in the cold, no matter how much I hate his guts¯-_ (fishes around in his pocket for a keycard, and hands it to Arc) Here's a key to the guest quarters on deck 3. Use it wisely.

Arcturus: Hey, thanks.

Fron: (menacingly) Don't think that this makes us friends.

Arcturus: Riiight... (walks away, but is stopped in the doorway)

Fron: Hey.

(Arcturus turns around to see Fron)

Fron: You're welcome.

Arcturus: Riiight... (walks out)

(Deck 3, Guest Quarters)

(Two separate beds are sitting in the corner. Stuff is on one, a person is on the other, and a second person is drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster at the counter.)

Akardam: You know, we shouldn't get too comfortable. And that's your SIXTH Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. Shouldn't you be doing something useful, like quivering in a convulsive drunken mass?

SimMaster: It's called synthehol. Doesn't screw with your brain.

Akardam: Ohh.

(The door opens, and Arcturus walks in.)

Arcturus: Room service has already arrived? And the beds are made! (looks around) HEY! What are you doing drinking on the job?

SimMaster: 1, I'm not Room Service, 2, I'm not on the job, and 3, this isn't real alcohol.

Arcturus: Damn. I could have used some right now.

...

I thought I had this room all to myself.

Akardam: Call it a snafu.

Arcturus: Ahh... I see... Well, Fron wants me off the ship as soon as possible.

SimMaster: I could give you a ride.

Arcturus: On your ship?

SimMaster: No, on the civilian transport. My ship is currently filled to the brim. Hang on, lemme fish out the money so I can pay your way... (plunges hand in money pocket, comes back with handful of smoldering ash, tries again, lather, rinse, repeat 1000x - Eventually, there is enough ash in the room to maintain the galactic pet food industry for 25 years (yes, they DO put ash in pet food). Finally he draws out 2 dollars.) Ahh, here we *FOOMP* (The money turns to ash) Dammit.

Arcturus: I take it I'm going on your ship then.

SimMaster: Guess so.

*bleep bleep bleep*

SimMaster: Phone call. (pulls out cel phone) Hello, this is the captain.

Scotty: Captain, the repairs are done and she's ready to go.

SimMaster: Thank you, Mr. Scott. Just tell the bridge crew to bring the ship alongside the Phoenix. *blip* (puts away phone)

Arcturus: Hey, I remember you from somewhere. Hmm... Oh! I remember now! May 12!

SimMaster: Yepper...

(Insert flashback here, I know you don't want it.)

Arcturus: That's it! You were the initiate on the bugging mission!

SimMaster: Mmhmm.

Arcturus: So we're going now, right?

Akardam: Not yet. We have some business to take care of with Fron.

Arcturus: OK. Have a good time.

(But SimMaster and Akardam were already gone.)

(Phoenix Ready Room)

(Fron and Exile step into the room. They're more than a little surprised at who they see in there.)

Fron: Didn't I say we'd call for you?

Akardam: No.

Exile: EVAAAAAL! (lunges at the former DSAers, but was horridly drunk and so crashed into the bulkhead.) *WHAM* Oww... *slump*

SimMaster: We wish to discuss something with you.

Fron: What?

SimMaster: As it turns out, neither Akardam nor myself was working in the interests of DSA as you originally thought. In fact, we are agents for Phasmus, and as such, for VILE.

Fron: This had better be good.

SimMaster: It gets better. We were the ones responsible for taking Fronette out of the picture for that time she was missing.

Fron: Hmm...

Akardam: Frankly, I'm glad to be out of DSA.

Fron: Why did you come to me for assistance?

SimMaster: 1, VILE has the weakness of being almost entirely undead, and as such is victim to Namrok's meddling. 2, we wish to have no dealing with WUSS, because of the name more than anything else. And 3...

Fron: What is number 3? And will I like it?

SimMaster: (pulls seventy-five pieces of documentation listing himself and Akardam as dual-citizenship people) We want to become Canadians.

Fron: OK, THAT came out of Nowhere. Tell me why.

Akardam: We are simply disinterested and appalled with standing American policy. Plus, Canada is keener and has a hell of a lot more potential.

Fron: Ahh... So the United States is a conflict of interest... (grinning) Well there was no better place and no better time to come here.

Exile: (wakes up) DSAers...You shall DI-

Fron: HOLD IT! They're not even IN DSA.

Exile: How do I know that?

Fron: Hang on, while I pull up Phasmus on the comm.

*Channel open*

Phasmus: Hey there, Fron.

Fron: Hello. Two of your boys just came on here, asking for Canadian citizenship. I just wanted to make sure it was kosher.

Phasmus: Fine with me. I need their services no longer.

(The VILE Duct-tape bands on Akardam and SimMaster's arms go entirely slack, and fall off.)

Fron: Many thanks. Have a nice day, and good luck.

Phasmus: You too. *channel closed*

Exile: I didn't know... I mean -

SimMaster: That's all right.

Exile: Not really. As a sign of forgiveness, here's a $35 000 CDN gift certificate for ExileMart.

SimMaster: OK, Thanks.

Exile: Any other help you need, just let me know. (sits down)

Fron: OK, let's just send this through processing... Either of you have a real name that can be disclosed?

Akardam: Have one? Yes. Can we disclose it? No.

Fron: That's OK. (stuffs papers into Mr. Nationality Changer) *blippity bleep* OK, they should be done. (pulls out 2 identicards, and hands one to each)

SimMaster: Well THIS is nifty.

Fron: And as for your position... You'll both be captains in the Canadian Royal Fleet.

Akardam: That's cool.

Fron: Simmy, you're taking Arc with ya, right?

SimMaster: Yes, but DON'T CALL ME THAT!

Fron: What, Simmy?

SimMaster: ERRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGG!

Fron: Fine. Feh.

*zoom* *zoom*

SimMaster: WTF?

Exile: Ah hell.

Akardam: They know our every move now!

Fron: Who?

*Ker-BLAMMO!*

SimMaster: DSA shall spy on us no more.

(In the Wendy's... o/` blah blah blah blah blah blah... In the Wend-)

*WHACK*

(Oww... *slump*)

Zenogias: Hmm... This is QUITE interesting... they're siding with the damned Canadians!

Namrok: How shall I proceed?

Zenogias: Leave Akardam alone. He is of no consequence. However, I want you to destroy the Architect's ship and crew.

Namrok: Of course, master. (chants a little and disappears in a vortex)

(Aboard the Discontinuity)

(Namrok arrives in a deserted accessway, accompanied by 15 undead hands and a neutron bomb. He slowly crawls through and ends up in Main Engineering.)

Engineer 1: What the -

Namrok: Hands! ATTACK!

(The undead hands are carrying guns, flails, and other nasty stuff. Two or three of the hands are unarmed, yet dangerous as they proceed to choke and blast the life out of almost every single one of the engineers. Only Scotty made it to the safety chamber thingy...)

Namrok: That was easier than I could ever imagine. We'll be back later, for now we fight the other creatures on board.

(Namrok and the Hands leave for the quarters of the ship, where many screams emanate.)

(Several minutes later...)

Scotty: How many are still aboard the ship?

Computer: 94 organics. 2 life signs.

Scotty: How many things are moving around this vessel?

Computer: Eighteen, sixteen undead.

Scotty: This is Very Bad(tm).

Computer: Commander Harris has been struck down.

(Namrok and his minions return to Main Engineering.)

Namrok: Hmm... (sets neutron bomb for 10 minutes, and drops it in the drive vortex) That will give the SimMaster quite a surprise. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Come, let's wait in front of the escape area. (The sixteen undead (Namrok and the Hands) go off to wait in front of the escape pods.)

(Back on the Phoenix)

>>>Sir, we have a distress signal. It's from the Discontinuity.

Fron: On my way.

(All four inhabitants of the Ready Room enter the bridge)

>>>Display: (crackly) This is commander Montgomery Scott of the CWAL Warship Discontinuity. We have been invaded by a member of the Dark Star Alliance and over a dozen undead hands, and they've killed everyone. There's a neutron bomb in the main reactor, we don't know how much longer we'll last. We need assistance! Any friendly vessel in the vicinity, we need an eva-*kssssshhhhhhh*

SimMaster: Oh hell. C'mon, Akardam, let's go. FRON! MAKE SURE NOBODY EVEN LOOKS AT THE HAWTHORNE WHILE AKARDAM'S GONE!

Fron: You got it.

(SimMaster storm off to the Guest Quarters.)

(Guest Quarters (damn that was fast))

Arcturus: (playing pretend paintball) Ha ha! I have you no - *swish*

Akardam: Come on!

Arcturus: Why?

Akardam: No time!

Arcturus: It's bad, isn't it?

SimMaster: It just got worse. (pulls out cel phone) Computer! 3 to beam DIRECTLY to engineering!

(Our heroes disappear in a flash of gold.)

(ACS Discontinuity, Main Engineering)

(A flash of gold spits out our heroes.)

Arcturus: Where is everyone?

Akardam: Dead. Except one.

SimMaster: (pressing nifty button next to door, which opens) Scotty, you alright?

Scotty: I've had better days, captain. Namrok is in the-

SimMaster: No time. We have to get this taken care of. There any way to stop the bomb from going off?

Scotty: Not really.

Akardam: I may have an Idea.

Everyone else: Explain.

Akardam: I can slow down time a little here. Once the bomb's at about 30 seconds, though, it'll be ineffective.

SimMaster: Well the bomb's at about 2 minutes now.

Akardam: Hang on... *tapity tapity* There... we have a few more minutes. Enough to copy the core to the Aurora and get the hell out.

Arcturus: Aurora?

SimMaster: Short range craft, designed for escape.

*tapity tapity*

SimMaster: We don't have TIME for that!

Akardam: So you don't want a backup of the computer?

SimMaster: Fine... (seconds later) you done?

Akardam: Yeah. Let's go.

(They walk to the bridge connector. Upon the sight, Arcturus promptly coughs up two days' worth of food, and Scotty has dry heaves.)

Arcturus: *RALPH!*

Scotty: *urp*

SimMaster: Dear God.

Akardam: I'm not feeling too well.

SimMaster: We don't have time for this. Come on!

Arcturus: Just tell me there's no more of this.

Scotty: There be... umm... LINE!

(There's a lot more.)

Scotty: That's it! There's a lot more.

Arcturus: I was afraid of that.

(The intrepid heroes kept running, straight to the bridge. The sight was better and worse. Better, because it didn't provoke nausea. Worse, because there were fourteen undead hands with weapons, some stolen off dead Discontinuity personnel.)

(A fight immediately began between the team of SimMaster, Arcturus, & Akardam and the team of Fourteen Undead Hands.)

SimMaster: How did all these buggers get in here? (blasts a hand)

Akardam: Beats me. (pulverizes another hand)

Arcturus: Well it's a little late now to worry about that. (paintballs a hand, with no effect) Crappity.

*ZHOOM*

SimMaster: Here. (hands Arcturus a PPG thingy)

Arcturus: Thanks. (begins to blast hands left and right)

(Soon, the hands were defeated, and not even Scotty was injured in any way, shape, or form.)

Arcturus: Now where?

SimMaster: Aurora.

Akardam: We only have six minutes left.

Scotty: It only takes one to get to the ship.

o/` The HILLS are aliiive with the sound of foreshadowi-

*BLAM!*

o/`Oww... *slump*

SimMaster: OK, we just run up these stairs, and Scotty will start up the thing, which can't launch until I'm on it, while Arcturus, Akardam and I fight the inevitable evil in the way. Ready?

Everyone: BREAK!

Our heroes: Who the - GET HIM!

*SPLAT**BLAMMO**WHACK**ZHOOM*

Everyone: Oww... *slump*

SimMaster: Let's go.

(a minute later, at the top of the stairs)

SimMaster: This should be the release, and we can now g- (looks at figures in door) Oh Crap(tm).

(Cue Duel of the Fates or Magus's theme from Chrono Trigger, your ****ing pick.)

SimMaster: Ahh, at last we meet, for the first time, for the last time.

Namrok: Don't get such a big head.

Arcturus: Howbout you actually GET one? (snicker)

Namrok: That isn't funny.

SimMaster: Let's go. (pulls trigger on WhuppAssinator 3000)

WA3k: *click click*

SimMaster: Aww... Gotta go conventional... (pulls out monomolecular-edged T-sqquare of length 1.5 meters) Let's rock.

Namrok: That's my line!

Computer: Five minutes until continuity vortex rupture and destruction of ship.

Akardam: We don't have time.

(Immediately, the bottom two feet of the deck was replaced with a set of blocks with patterns on them closely resembling something from Chrono Trigger (which still kicks ass. I have a cart and a ROM if anyone's interested.).)

>>>SimMaster: 755/755,65
Attack
Nifty Crap
Item
>>>Attack
(Namrok: 135)
>>>Arcturus: 995/995,99
Attack
Nifty Crap
Item
>>>Item - Coffee - All
(All Allies: Haste)
>>>Akardam: 776/776,80
Attack
Nifty Crap
Item
>>>Nifty Crap - Laser
(Namrok: 342)
>>>Namrok - Dark Shield - (Namrok: 2/3 off incoming Attacks)
>>>Raxier - Attack - (SimMaster: 27)
>>>SimMaster: 728/755,65
Attack
Nifty Crap
Item
>>>Nifty Crap - Psychology - Namrok

SimMaster: What do you expect to accomplish by doing this?

Namrok: Vengeance.

SimMaster: Don't make me hurt you.

(Namrok: Offense -1)
>>>Akardam: 776/776,76
Attack
Nifty Crap
Item
>>>Attack
(Namrok: 55)
>>>Arcturus: 995/995,99
Attack
Nifty Crap
Item
>>>Nifty Crap - Spray Fire
(Namrok: 115)
(Raxier: 775)
>>>Namrok - Nifty Crap - Evil Spirit Thingy
(SimMaster: 115)
(Akardam: 145)
(Arcturus: 66)
>>>SimMaster: 613/755,58
Attack
Nifty Crap
Item
>>>Nifty Crap - Switch Armaments
(SimMaster: WhuppAssinator Equipped)
>>>Arcturus: 929/995,89
Attack
Nifty Crap
Item
>>>Nifty Crap - Explosives
(Namrok: 1135)

Namrok: Pain...

Computer: 2 minutes to imminent destruction.

>>>Akardam: 631/776,76
Attack
Nifty Crap
Item
>>>Attack
(Raxier: 445)

Raxier: Agggg... (falls limp)

>>>Raxier is incapacitated, turn revoked
>>>SimMaster: 613/755,58
Attack
Nifty Crap
Item
>>>Item - Spare Clip
(SimMaster: WhuppAssinator fully charged)
>>>Akardam: 631/776,76
Attack
Nifty Crap
Item
>>>Nifty Crap - Micronuke
*BOOM*
(Namrok: 4450, loses Dark Shield)

Namrok: Serious pain...

>>>Arcturus: 929/995,57
Attack
Nifty Crap
Item
>>>Attack
(Namrok: 450)
>>>Namrok - Nifty Crap - X-DOOM
(Namrok: 9999)
(Raxier: Revived, 9999)
>>>SimMaster: 613/755, 58
Attack
Nifty Crap
Item
>>>Nifty Crap - FULL DISCHARGE
(Namrok: 9997)

Namrok: Well, I'll be going now. Ta!

>>>Namrok - Nifty Crap - Dark Gate
(Namrok: Retreated)
(Raxier: Retreated)
>>>VICTORY!
>>>Gained 11537 experience points
>>>Gained 33 Keenness points
>>>SimMaster to level 45
>>>All attributes up 1, HP to 778, MP to 69
>>>Akardam to level 50
>>>All attributes up 1, HP to 800, MP to 83
>>>Arcturus to level 71
>>>All attributes up 3, HP to 999
>>>Gained 1 AMD Athlon-750

(As suddenly as they came, the patterned blocks leave.)

Computer: Thirty seconds to imminent destruction.

Arcturus: Let's MOVE IT!

(Scotty, Arcturus, and Akardam immediately board the Aurora.)

Computer: Twenty seconds to imminent destruction.

SimMaster: Farewell, great ship... (removes plaque from wall)

Computer: Ten seconds to imminent destruction.

SimMaster: Oh SHIT! (barrels onto the Aurora) Take off! NOW!

Computer: Five seconds to imminent destruction... four... three... two... one... Farewell, SimMaster...

*BLAMMO*

(Main Engineering)

(The neutron bomb explodes, quickly rushing through the habitat section)

(Outside)

(On the upper flange of the Discontinuity, many sparks appear as the top breaks apart. From the gap comes the Aurora, the Captain's yacht, so to speak. The Discontinuity begins to tumble toward the planet Earth, continuously blowing apart on the inside. Thirty seconds later, it has returned to the space over California, but at a much lower altitude.)

(Irvine)

(Many people are in the street, looking up at the streak that used to be a great ship. Many cries of Dear God and What the flying ****? cross the faces and streets as the meteor crashes through three skyscrapers and buries itself in the street next to the Wendy's.)

(In the Wendy's)

(Mecha-Zeno is stumbling along, still weak from the EMP.)

*RUMBLE*

Zenogas: AHHHH! *clunk* This is just not my day.

(A flash of darkness appears in front of Zenogias.)

Namrok: *cough* I *heave* have returned... *erg* The Architect's craft has been destroyed. *ugh* I failed to *erk* get the four key characters, though.

Zenogias: Close enough. (struggles to his feet) We have to hold a meeting to discuss how to deal with this problem. I'm just glad that that damned traitor is quivering in his boots.

(CWAL HQ)

o/` Ceeee-lebrate good times, come on! o/`

(Many people are dancing at the impromptu party that CWAL is holding. Suddenly, all are silent from the arm signals of one man, standing behind the TV, set up as a podium.)

SimMaster: Dear friends. There comes a time in every newbie's life, when he is no longer a newbie. Today, amid many triumphs and defeats, I have finally reached the top rung of the ladder of Newbiehood, where one cannot go any higher. Today, I shed the band of the Newbie Patrol. Today, I am... a CWALer.

(Many shouts, cheers, and tossings-up of pizza pies greet the news.)

Leach: *snif* My little building boy's all grown up.

SimMaster: Don't call me that.
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(OK, I think I'm done here. The story is done.)

This story contains:
18 Pages
403 Paragraphs
812 Lines
3641 Words
18129 characters (21398 w/spacing)

RECAP for the lazy people *coughcoughDorgcough*

More proof was revealed of Norf and Freerunner's love
SimMaster and Akardam defected
Arcturus has been used
DSA is pissed... no, REALLY pissed
The Discontinuity is no more
Namrok isn't in great shape
Fronette's in Canadian Jail
AND
SimMaster is a Regular

I TOLD you craploads of stuff would happen in this story.

UPDATED Character Description

SimMaster *S* *T* *W* : Formerly American (now Canadian, in character only) architect originally drafted for insight to Blizzard structure. Fights with a WhuppAssinator and sometimes a T-square that was remade into a keen sword. Has some skills, such as a weak form of psychological alteration usable on anything except MAGGOTTonians and Sephroth, and a knack for completely ignoring the laws of physics (not really used to date). Does not experience nausea, and does NOT like to be called Simmy or Building Boy. Attached to MST3K and SimCity 3000 (hence the name). Also has odd affinity to Babylon 5 and "Weird Al" Yankovic.

That's all. Y'all have a real nice *elevator music*

The Architect
"In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."